I also write about sports for my local paper. And this list is brought to you by a conversation I had with my editor. The first is the descriptor I used to refer to a drubbing in a high school soccer match. The ones that follow are ones that I have started to make the list.

This list is based on Skippy's List, which always brought a chuckle.

1. 1. "The lads put the screws to the rival Wildcats."

2. 2. "The team came to chew bubblegum and kick some butt, and they were all out of bubble gum."

3. 3. "The team dog walked the rival Wildcats up one side of the park and down the other."

4. 4. "The boys did their best A-10 Warthog impersonation, with a continual barrage on goal that had the opposing keeper hearing nothing but BRRRRRRRRRT."